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frequently asked questions  |  pricing  |  services for naughty kitties

I hear you're really good with men. What about naughty kitties? Can you help me out?
Sure.

Well, how much do you charge?
$35. Gratuities are not accepted.

Does it matter if it’s my first time ever or the fact that it has been 29 months since my last Brazilian?
It's a flat $35 regardless of whether

• You've never had a Brazilian before or
• If the last regular Brazilian you had was in 1982 or
• During a time when you thought Don Johnson was "cool" or perhaps
• You don’t know why but your fuzz “just grows fast,” and now gets mistaken for a little rodent

Why don't you accept tips?
Because fair is fair and the price I quote you should be all that you're responsible for. Tipping makes things awkward & confusing. If you like me, you'll come back and we'll have a long, mutually beneficial relationship. If you don't like me, you won't come back and that's fine. May the hair on your unborn children grow long as a yeti.

But I love my current esthetician who could possibly be the best Brazilian artist in the world. Why should I switch to you?
Really, you shouldn’t. Stay with your own Kitten Groomer. Seriously, this is a pretty intimate procedure and more than just technical know-how. It’s important to have a certain chemistry with your esthetician. If you’ve found it, stick with it.

What sort of wax do you use for female Brazilians?
I use a honey strip wax.

I see that you offer hard wax for men, why don’t you use hard wax for women as well?
Because the strip wax I use is of appropriate strength to remove coarse pubic hair.

What if I have sensitive skin? Will you use hard wax on my kitty if I have sensitive skin?
No. If you have sensitive skin, I’d HIGHLY suggest you visit Suzi Miller in Los Gatos (suzimiller.com). Her wax products, approach and technique are perfectly tailored for those with uber sensitivity.

What the hell? Are you mean? Do you not care about my Kitty?
Aw, c’mon now, don’t be like that. Every esthetician has a different style. I’m detailed and very efficient. I talk quickly, think quickly, move quickly. That’s just me. So my style is more suited to those who want quick, no nonsense hairless kitty-ness at a reasonable price.

So if you’re the kind of lady who wants pampering or perhaps you’re jittery and want a waxer who takes her time to soothe you, I’m not the person for you. Really.

Do you wax other body parts?
I do. I wax practically all other body parts except for eyebrows. Click here for my full price list.

How come you don’t do eyebrows?
Because I’ll never be half as good as Marissa from Haute Wax in San Jose (408.888.4527). Holy Moly, she can sculpt anything into perfect arches. I don’t care if you have eyebrows that are caterpillars, a punctuation mark or a Rorschah test, she’s got the skills to change their very DNA.

I read your reviews on-line. Do people really love you that much?
Lets put it this way, I’ve seen grown men cry.

You sure it’s not because you just ripped hair from their testicles?
Touché

Any topic discussed in this article is not intended as medical advice. If you have a medical concern, please consult your doctor.

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